I'm doing a lot right now. I'm looking at my niece and her beautiful eyes. she smiles. I think about how downstairs lying on my couch right now is an amazing girl I met last year. I think about how now I'm '17'. I think about how much I dont know what that means. I think about how I'm going to HA next year. About how Im now a 'senior' now. The thought of that makes me cry. I feel like crying now I think about how I just got a very much wanted invitation to MT. I think about how my best friend doesn't know how Im feeling. And how I feel like i'm drifting from my other best friend. I think about how I try so hard to fight other peoples battles for them. I try so hard to save people from their situations, even though I know thats not my job. But what is my job? Working at a frozen yogurt shop? Assistant Gymnastics coach? technically yes. But I need for there to be more in this 18th year of life then falling behind in school and making money that will come to dust anyway. I have a goal for tis year. I want to do something. Something that includes more then being in a musical, and making a new friend. I want this year to be my turning point. I just read a blog post from my friend Chantry. He just came back from Venezuela. Now he's planning 2 more trips to Haiti and Ecuador. He's also dual enrolled a.k.a he's soon to be a sophomore in college. He's 17. Does his amazing anointed mission based life make me feel like a directionless chump? yep sure does. But another thing that it shows me, is that Chancho knows his identity. Not just his name or his address. But he knows who he is in Christ. and when you boil it down, thats ALL that matters. Who am I in Christ?... thats what I need to brush up on. This 2012-2013 year is going to be one in which God says, "Yep, this is what I've been waiting for."
